Parenting with Sunnah and Science is a really broad topic, and Alhamdulillah! Allah has blessed me with the knowledge, I’ve been going back and forth thinking if i really should be sharing this knowledge, since am not a mother yet, and am sure you know how that feels.

I might not be a mother, but after going through series of training, lectures, coaching, reading books on this same topic, and most importantly been an islamic teacher of a class of 161 students with age range 3-7 years , and been a school teacher of a class of 30 students with the age range of 4-7 years. So this whole hustle put together, gave me the courage to share this knowledge, despite not been a mother. So, Let’s do this:

The job of parenting starts from pregnancy.

Understanding your responsibility:

 “Every one of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. The leader of people is a guardian and is responsible for his subjects. A man is the guardian of his family and he is responsible for them. A woman is the guardian of her husband’s home and his children and she is responsible for them. The servant of a man is a guardian of the property of his master and he is responsible for it. No doubt, every one of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock.”

Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 6719, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 1829

How well we grow our children are things we should be prepared for, when we have been blessed with children. Because indeed the children you’ve been blessed with are an Amanah giving to you by Allah, and you will be held accountable of how well you brought them up.

Just like a gardener whom when he plants a seed, he sees to make sure it grows in a good environment, getting rid of all the weeds, nurturing that seed until it grows into a beautiful flower. This becomes your condition, and even more higher when you’ve been blessed with that child.

Children are born pure and are a test for you:

“No child is born except on al-fitrah (islamic or primordial nature) then his parents make him Jewish, christian, or magian, as an animal produces a perfect young animal: do you see any of its body amputated?”

Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim

So, what our children are exposed to at this initial stage has an effect on them, and has an impact on their lives, because it begins to shape their personality. Taking your child with you while taking a shower, undressing before them, etc. We believe they don’t understand what’s going on but in reality they do, and the it keeps accumulating in their brain until a certain age. So, Do not expose them to things that would leave a negative impact on their heart, no age is too small, because right from the very first month they begin to observe things.

“Your wealth and your children are but a trial, and Allah has with Him a great reward.” {Quran 65:15}

From this ayah it is clear to us that, those children we’ve been blessed with are a test for us from Allah, and with regards to our children this tests comes in so many ways, at times every single thing they do becomes a test for you, such as : Over looking the shariah out of love for your children (eg finding it difficult to wake your kids for fajr salah, because you don’t want to interrupt their sleep, etc) , or neglecting your salah, and other islamic duties and get so busy taking care of the kids, or you get tested with an ill child and so much more.

One thing we should know is, when you make your children instead of your DEEN your ultimate focus and your purpose of life, then you are clearly on a wrong path, Never overlook or go blind over the matters of the Deen out of love for your children. You should strike a balance.

You are a role model:

You are a role model for you children, and they will always look up to you, and imitate everything you do right from childhood. so they key is:

You would have to be what you want your children to be, because they learn from you.

Then lastly, develop a vision for your family:

Take a moment to imagine your child as grown up!

list your halal goals and plans for that child, and start reflecting over them.

May Allah grant us all children that would be the coolness of our eyes.